"I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be."
Dita Von Teese  (via phuckindope)

(Source: dita-van-teese, via ayanajpeg)

My Heart is Broken..

Yesterday my heart broke and an overwhelming grief covered me to hear the news that the actor that I always looked for in movies to brighten my day and make me feel better had passed away. Robin Williams was not just another famous actor on the big-screen to me. His voice filled my home from as far back as I can remember.. He sung me to sleep for years, he was my Genie. My Genie that I had to hear sing every night for years before I could go to sleep. He taught me honesty and to beeeeee myself. And that someday I wanted to go to DisneyLand because that’s where the Genie wanted to go as soon as he was free. He was my nanny who taught me that if you love someone, you’ll do whatever it takes to spend time with them and be near them. He was my Pan who taught me to never lose your child eyes in the world, bangarang, how to fly, how to fight and how to crow! He’s been there throughout my entire life as I’ve grown up. If Robin Williams was in the movie, i knew it was a good one and I wanted to watch it. He was my teacher and counselor who taught me that nobody is perfect, but what’s important is when two people are perfect for each other. He was my Sailor Man who did anything for his Sweet Pea and I wanted someone in my life to be mine like he was hers. He was my bat friend who made me laugh as he joked about humans and their bad clothing. He was my funny professor who created an amazing bouncy flubber that created a world of imagination for me to play with and I played with my wonderful Flubber toy everyday to be like the professor. We all sang “Shake your Flubber booty!” In my home and laughed until we cried. He was my doctor who inspired me to take care of the person and treat the patient not the symptoms, he inspired me to become the nurse that I’m pursuing to be now. He was my funny falling apart robot Fender who I watched the movie for, he was my favorite character in the movie who made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. He taught me that even though you may have a few lose screws, that doesn’t mean that you’re defective. He was my RV driver who taught me to never give up even when the going gets tough and the tires fall off your vehicle, you keep going. He was my Ramon who had Happy Feet too and taught me to dance like no one is watching. He was my Teddy who taught me that even if you’re made of wax you can be infamously brave and victorious. He was my music teacher who taught me that music and wonder cannot be bought or kept to yourself but must be felt and shared with the world and those around you. He was my old dog who taught me that if your depth perception of things is off, everything in your life may seem wrong so take a step back and really open your eyes to the big picture. I looked up to him as a brother, a father, a doctor, a genie, a grandpa, a nanny, a professor, a counselor and so much more. He was not just an actor no, not to me, to me he was a friend and I looked for his smile in movies to reflect my smile on the other side of the screen. I will miss seeing you, Robin, I will miss your serious roles and your comedic roles. I will miss having you there as I get older to help me through a few more struggles but I promise that I will share you with my family and my future children one day whenever they need a good laugh or someone to sing them to sleep and I hope to share you with my grandchildren whenever they want to know what happened to Pan whenever he decided to grow up. I will let your memories live on and I will never lose the joy that you’ve brought to my life through your movies and roles. Thank you for always being there for me, Robin Williams. I love you and already miss you dearly. 
Make sure you tell a few jokes to make God laugh. 

"But only in their dreams can men be truly free. It was always thus and always thus will be.” -Robin Williams, Dead Poets Society

+Robin Williams oh how my heart hurts..
"It’s not the kind of sadness to where you cry all the time, but more of like the sadness that overwhelms your entire body, leaving you heart aching and your stomach empty. Making you feel weak and tired. And yet, you can’t even sleep cause the sadness is in your dreams too. It’s almost a sadness you can’t escape."
(via wordsthat-speak)

(via eventhebeautifullosecontrol)

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